DIE WELL DINNER
DIE WELL DINNER - WHat it is and how it works
Gather your closest friends and family (or everyone you know) to socialize, eat, drink, and plan for dying well.
At a Die Well Dinner (or lunch, or hor dourves, or no food at all) I will join your gathered group and will provide information and guidance on creating an end-of-life plan, discuss the importance of legacy work, review funeral and body disposition options, answer questions, and so much more!
Choose from any of the topics/films listed below as the "theme" for your Die Well Dinner. Can't decide? Schedule multiple events!
Contact me for more information, scheduling, and pricing. (It's affordable and worthwhile!)
(And yes, I will bring skull cakelets!)
YOU'RE GOING TO DIE. WHY NOT DIE WELL? PREPARATION IS KEY.
We will discuss the importance of talking about death and engaging with our own mortality, and the benefits it can and does provide. All attendees will receive a Die Well Death Education Purple Packet, and we will also discuss in detail the creation of an End-of-Life Plan. The importance of pre-planning cannot be understated, including but not limited to: advance directives & addendums, choosing a health care proxy(s), wills, declaration of final disposition & funeral wishes, legacy work, obituary writing, hospice & palliative care, POLST forms, MAID, funeral and body disposition options (there are more than you think!), the Funeral Rule, and so much more!
The Importance of Legacy Work & Writing Your Own (or Someone Else's) Obituary
Legacy work is not about dying and death, it is about life and living; and creating your own legacy for your family, friends, and loved ones. Only YOU can tell your story, expound your personal wisdom, and express your feelings to and about others. It makes sense to start this sooner than later; preferably before you are dying. We will discuss different methods of documenting your legacy, including several prompt questions, etc.
Relying heavily on James R. Hagerty’s book, Yours Truly: An Obituary Writer’s Guide to Telling Your Story, we will discuss tips for telling your own story and preserving your personal history in a meaningful and engaging way in your obituary.
“Whatever your age or health, an inventory of your life so far can help you decide if you’re on the path you intended, and if you aren’t, lead you to another.” – James R. Hagerty
MAID (Medical Aid in Dying) and VSED (Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking)
We will discuss MAID: Medical Aid in Dying; focusing primarily on Maine’s Death with Dignity Act. This is the process by which competent and terminally ill state residents who are within 6 (six) months of death may legally obtain oral prescription medication for which they may voluntarily take without assistance to peacefully end their life.
We will also discuss VSED: Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking, which is a legal option for any mentally capable, determined, well-informed person as a means advance the time of their death. VSED requires significant caregiving and support, which we will discuss further.
Short Film: Dying Wish: A Dying Doctor’s Decision to Stop Eating and Drinking and Die with Grace Retired surgeon, Michael Miller is dying of end-stage cancer and is determined to avoid the hospital at all costs. He’s researched the dying process and believes that stopping eating and drinking will ease his suffering and result in a peaceful, more natural death. During his fast, Michael suffers neither thirst nor hunger. Buoyed by the legacy of this film, he enjoys a last meal, surrounds himself with art and music, and takes leave of his family. Medical ethicists speak about patients’ rights, and hospice staff share their own, similar experiences of others who have mase this choice. (29 minutes)
BODY DISPOSITION OPTIONS
Most people think there are two basic body disposition options – burial and cremation. Not true! There are many more, several of which are far more affordable than the “standard offerings” from the funeral industry. We will discuss the body disposition options available in Maine and review and discuss the “The Funeral Rule,” a law implemented and enforced by the Federal Trade Commission in 1984 (amended in 1994) to protect consumers when purchasing funeral goods and services. In short, protecting consumers from unscrupulous selling practices in the funeral industry.
The Basics of a Home Funeral
We will go over the basics of a home funeral; from getting your loved one home if they have died elsewhere, to how to wash, care for, and maintain the body, as well as ideas for a meaningful home vigil for your loved one. If desired, we will hold a “mock” home funeral.
Film(S) with DISCUSSION TO FOLLOW
We can watch any number of films, and then have an in-depth discussion to follow. The films may include: Barbara Karnes' This is How People Die, Letting Go: A Hospice Journey, In the Parlor: The Final Goodbye, A Family Undertaking, Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall, Take Me Out Feet First, Obit: Life on a Deadline, Bury Me at Taylor Hollow, Jack Has a Plan, Dying Wish, Flight From Death: The Quest for Immortality, etc.